Where in the world am I today?: North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Prologue: Scotty and I met at this past year’s Pacific National Exhibition. He and Rick Kunst made up the Men in Tights troupe and although I’ve known Rick for years, it was my first chance to work with Scotty and quite frankly he made me laugh, a lot! He also seemed to covet both my Digital Still Camera and Video Cameras… Thankfully he didn’t get off with either of them which allowed me to take the picture that accompanies this post. Here for your edification is a bit more about the man they call Scotty Watson, though if you’re to believe the rant he got into at the PNE one night he is actually Randy Bachman…

STATS

Name: Scotty Watson.
Birthday: April … some time in the mid sixties.  That’s all you get.
Place of Birth: North York… at the time, Canada’s largest borough.
Started Performing/Working in the Industry: I was in a play at the ripe old age of 10.
Discipline: Light Comic Actor
Website: http://www.scottywatsoncomedian.blogspot.com/
Video Link: http://www.scottywatsoncomedian.blogspot.com/
Venues Worked: The Royal Alexandra in Toronto, The Minetta Lane Off-Broadway in NYC and others…

Hot 10 Questions:

1. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream and why? • Tin Roof.  Among lots of other cool features it has these long chocolate twig-like thingies that look for all the world like DNA strands… now here’s the weird part… Tin Roof was around WAY before we knew what DNA looked like… so what’s up with THAT?!
2. Name one movie that would make it to your Top 10 all-time great films. • Number 1 favorite movie of all time is, “Some Like it Hot.”  I would say that at least 3, (and possibly 5), of my top 10 were made by Billy Wilder. In fact, I changed my stage name from, “Scott,” to, “Scotty,” in homage to 2 people.  Johnny Carson and Billy Wilder.
3. What was your favorite toy from childhood? • I had this tin robot that took 2 D cell batteries.  It had a robot’s body and a big square head with a visor.  Inside the visor was a human face.  The face was kind and gentle… which was weird because as soon as you switched the robot on the machine gun on his chest started spraying everything in front of it.  Budda, budda budda.  But the guy inside seemed so nice, I used to think it was some heroic astronaut that had been caught and swallowed by this evil robot that used his kind face to lure unsuspecting aliens into range so he can blast them to pieces… budddda budda buddda…. Should I call my analyst now?
4. Who were your biggest inspirations when you got started? • Red Skelton, but then I did some research and found out he was a bit of a nut.  But then again, who am I to talk?  I’m weirder that he ever was. Never look too closely at your heroes.  I can still do most of his routines.  In fact, I wrote a one-man show, (Red – The Life of An American Clown), about his life and routines.  I was researching it in NYC at the Museum of Television and Radio.  This was before streaming video on the ‘net don’t cha’ know.  So I’d study Red Skelton vids from 8am until the museum closed at 4.  I’d meet my wife Carol at a theatre and see a play every night, so I’d have 4 hours to kill, so I’d use the sidewalk as my free rehearsal space.  You see, there’s a quiet spot on NYC sidewalks, on the opposite side of the subway entrances, there’s a cement wall, (to keep people from falling into the subway), that blocks the traffic.  I’d set up there and practice Red Skelton routines, (I still use this free rehearsal space on occasion to work my own original pantomime pieces).  Anyway, a crowd would sometimes gather to watch, and everyone recognized Red’s routines.  One classic New Yorker reaches into his pocket and pulls out a buck, but I hadn’t set out a hat, (I wasn’t busking… I was just taking advantage of free rehearsal space), and this guy literally SCREAMS at me. “Ya can’t make any money unless you put out a hat, ya fuckin’ BONEHEAD!!!!” I learned a valuable lesson that day… AND I fell in love with New York.
5. From the world of animation what one character do you most identify with or see yourself in? • Wishful thinking… Bugs Bunny.  In real temperament… Daffy Duck.  We’re talking Chuck Jones versions of these characters of course, (is there any other?).  Yeah, I WISH I were as cool and calm under pressure as that Wascally Wabbit… but the fact of the matter is that I let my passions run away with me a LOT and lose it Daffy Style.  I tend to be the one who has, “pwonown twouble,” and ends up taken home and shot in the face.
6. Name something that scares you. • That’s a tough one, because I tend to do the things that scare me until they don’t scare me anymore.  I used to be afraid of sharp knives, so I learned to cook. I was scared to sing so I did some musicals, (one of ’em Off-Broadway), now I love to sing.  I guess my biggest fear is everyone finding out that I’m a total sham.  But that probably won’t happen, because everyone else is too busy being worried that THEY’LL be out-ed as a sham to ever take the time to find me out.
7. Apart from the entertainment industry, name one other job you’ve had. • I’m ashamed to say that for a couple of years I worked in a stock brokerage.  This was just before, (and a little bit after), my time with The Second City.  Yes… I do understand short selling and credit default swaps.  No, I do not play the market.  In bad times, (like now), the big companies throw us small investors under the bus without hesitation.  In good times we treat the little guys like we love them as clients, but when the bus ain’t got no brakes we use ’em as speed bumps and then buy up their portfolio for pennies on the dollar.  It ain’t pretty and I’m sorry to say that I’ve been a part of it.
8. What’s something you haven’t done yet that you’d like to try? • I’d like to be on Broadway.  This year I started auditioning for Broadway shows, and I’ve come close… but I’m still waiting.
9. What’s your least favourite thing about being a performer? • I hate it when other performers engage in catty behavior.  The business is hard, but we can make it easier if we support each other.  If we back-stab each other we’re playing into the hands of the evil accountants.  Let’s be concrete about it… we’re keeping our own prices down through this insane competition.  Look, competition in the market place is a good thing, but every time we say something catty about another performer we’re undercutting them in terms of income.  “Oh, Bob, he’s… ok,” is going to get Bob a smaller paycheck than, “Bob!  Great guy!  Hell of a performer!”  That’s what I loved about my experience at the PNE this summer.  It was a great group of people, who were supportive, watched each others performances, laughed, joked, brain-stormed… I wish it was a year round event.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? • I’m not sure I want to go to heaven.  Look, if heaven exists, then most of my friends will be in hell.  I’d like to hear Mephistopheles say, “We’ve got Del Close down here, and he wants to run an improv set with you, Gilda Radner and Belushi… John, not Jim.”

The Nugget:

Pick one nugget of wisdom you’ve picked up from your career in Show Business to share with the World.

“You have to have enough money stashed away that you can afford to be out of work for 6 months or more.  The best way to manage your money is to manage your wants.  If you want that new car, it’ll eat at you.  If you want your career more than you want that new car, you’ll know that that beat up wreck is good enough.”

–Scotty Watson

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