Where in the world am I today?: Oklahoma City, OK, USA

I’m not entirely sure why this popped into my head recently, but years ago while performing at the Shizuoka Daidogei World Cup Street Performers Festival in Japan I distinctly remember having a conversation with Jean-Michel Pare of the Flying Dutchmen in which he claimed that as a performer you were either a ‘Has-Been’ or a ‘Wanna-Be.’ This thesis was supported by many examples of performers who were either climbing the ladder trying to get their show to where they wanted it (The Wanna-Bes) or had made it, succeeded and were on the way down (The Has-Beens). The way he described it, it didn’t feel as though you were given very much time at the apex between these two states – you were either on your way up or on your way down… When I asked which he was he laughed and said he figured he was a has-been which made me laugh as I’ve always loved watching him work no matter what he said.

This image has remained with me long after that original conversation and continues to push me to work on my show because, given a choice, I’d rather been on the ‘Wanna-Be’ side than the ‘Has-Been’ side. I still love what I do and would hate to feel as though my best work is over. Certainly a lot has changed over the years and my approach to performing and interacting with an audience has shifted as various other things in my life changed. Getting married, becoming a father, needing to pay a mortgage… All of these things had an effect on how I performed my show and how I handled myself both on and off stage.

I remember having conversations with basketball fans who followed Michael Jordan’s career and enjoyed watching as his career and game evolve from being all about doing amazing things with his body to being it being more of a thinking man’s game. This may well have been because as the years went by he could no longer perform at the same physical level that he had, but it may also have been because as he gained experience in the game he figured out ways to play smarter that wouldn’t be as hard on his body and allow him to extend his career for more years than had he tried to maintain the pace he established early in his career.

In much the same way I think for me, it’s becomes more about the thought process behind the show as opposed to just muscling my way through a performance with youthful exuberance. I miss those reckless youthful days sometimes, but have a lot now that I didn’t have then in terms of the way I perform my show and the way I live my life. This might make me a ‘Has-Been’ to some, but I very much still ‘Wanna-Be!’

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